intensity-vs-intimacy

Intensity is an attempt to attain satisfaction through extremes of strain, struggle, and effort. In impaired relationships, we equate the struggle of power, control, rage, anticipation, extremes, and excitement with intimacy. The initial “in love” experience is much closer to intensity than to intimacy.

Intimacy occurs whenever we live in truthfulness, transparency, vulnerability, and responsibility. Many would rather engage in the strain of intensity, which is self-reliant, than the courageous work of intimacy, which involves the exposure of limitation.

This marks the end of the Glossary of Heart series.

Posted
AuthorChip Dodd

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Satisfaction comes from satiation–the attempt to find comfort by avoiding the heart’s necessary pain. We use sensual means to silence the heart’s desires, ultimately leaving us lusting for more. We satiate our brains, our stomachs, our genitals, and our actions with a focus on avoidance. We avoid our senses (feelings) by converting them to the sensual.

Gratification comes from gratitude. It uses the pleasure and passion we have for life that comes from being adept at feelings. Feelings allow us to live fully in the vulnerability of relationship with ourselves, God, and others. Gratification operates out of our God-given craving for life and allows us to press into a future with a passion in the midst of pain.

Posted
AuthorChip Dodd

Fantasy is an external focus on mood-altering scenarios and false realities that we use to gain relief from the prodding discomfort of emotional and spiritual desires, longings, and hope.

Imagination is an internal focus on the desires of the heart that lead to full living. It is a courageous willingness to make the visions of the heart’s desires our highest goal. Imagination includes the knowledge that we may have pain in obtaining our desires, but ultimately our desires are more powerful than our pain.

This Glossary of Heart presents a daily choice for us. The first option keeps us where we are. The second option takes us on a journey into our hearts. It’s the hardest yet most courageous choice we can make. I hope you take the risk.

Posted
AuthorChip Dodd